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Sunday, 14 September 2014

on yer bike Ted ...


As they go whizzing by me I am forever thinking that all cyclist’s seem to be skinny and muscly and it makes me wonder if I should take it up.

The Tour of Britain road race has been going on around the country for the last seven days and is due to finish in London today.  When they get here they will have cycled  790 miles (1272 kilometres).  

It all got me to thinking about food (naturally) and specifically what do cyclists eat and drink on the road?  You’ll be pleased to know that my investigations revealed that they do actually eat (I was dubious about this given their size) and … "it's food Jim, but not as we know it".

I went to a rather famous bike shop called Condor Cycles to see what was on offer.  I scanned the shelves and first I found this stuff that you add to your water to keep you topped up with all the right iso-what's-it’s as you zoom along the highway (does it sound safe to be drinking while you’re zooming on the highway?).

Anyway … onto the “food”. I bought a selection of "protein and energy bars" so I could do a taste test in the comfort of my own lyrca and fluro free home.

So how did the taste test go. Well … for starters the Doll refused to partake, saying that she only ate real food. I ventured bravely on by myself, hoping that I was not about to do my taste buds irreparable damage. I decided that the best rating scale would be a 1 to 5 (B-BBBBB) "blurk-ometer". The higher the blurko-meter rating the more “unpleasant” and “unfood-like” they were…


Cliff bar - B - it looks and tastes like an Anzac biscuit, delicious even.
Mule Bar - BB - it did taste a bit like strudel and didn't have too many raisins to stick in your teeth.
Promax diet - BBB - technically a high protein bar for weight loss, chocolately with a funny texture.
ZV9 protein recovery bar - BBBBB - disgusting, tasted horrid, it was like trying to swallow bubble gum (and you’re not supposed to do that when you’re an adult) and it even looked awful.

So that’s another tough job done by Ted to save you all from having to expose yourselves to culinary danger (what a hero).

6 comments:

Adullamite said...

I'm hungry now.....

Stefan Jansson said...

I'm a keen cyclist. And not very fat.

Sharon Anck said...

Thanks Ted for doing the dirty work for me. I have tasted the Cliff bar before but those others are new to me and thankfully now I know not to try them.

Lois said...

Thank you for your sacrifice! Now I know I won't be doing any cycling if I have to eat that kind of food.

William Kendall said...

Serious cyclists must have an appetite for self punishment.

Jack said...

Do you folks have Kashi bars over there? I often have one or two of their trail mix bars for lunch (or during a golf game for a bit of energy). They taste like saw dust mixed with fruit and nuts, but they seem to work in restoring energy.

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