Ted and the mighty "mites"

… that will be Marmite and Vegemite then … two of the most popular yeast spreads in the UK and Australasia today.  It seems that you are either a Marmite person ("like it or hate it" as the slogan goes) or a Vegemite person, with very few people liking both, apart from Italians apparently ...

Both “mites” are made from spent brewer’s yeast … yep used yeast, a secret process with a few secret ingredients thrown in, a bit of alchemy, and voila you have either Marmite or Vegemite.  Marmite actually came first and shot to fame and fortune when we discovered vitamins in 1912, and realised that it was a very rich source of the vitamin B complex, composing of (hard to spell) good stuff like thiamine, riboflavin, niacin and folic acid. Pretty soon Marmite was in every lunch box in the country and in the rations of all the front line British troops in World War I.

The war led to the disruption of Marmite supplies to Australia so the Australian’s just got on an invented their own and called it Vegemite.

They duly shipped it across the sea to New Zealand and got them hooked on it too. In fact the two products are still very similar in vitamin and nutrient content today, with only Vitamin B12 being missing from the Vegemite goodies line up for some reason.

A NZ health food manufacturer called Sanitarium quickly got in on the act and negotiated an agreement with the UK Marmite manufacturers to allow changes to the Marmite recipe to make it more to Antipodean tastes, and that they could then sell that version “down under”. 

In 2011, the NZ Marmite factory had to shut down as a result of a devastating earthquake suffered in the city of Christchurch, and when Sanitarium announced that its back stocks of Marmite had run out New Zealanders rushed to their supermarkets in a fit of frenzied panic buying calling Marmite “black gold” and labelling the shortage crisis “Maramageddon”. Supplies are now thankfully back to normal.

Marmite and Vegemite are both consumed in various ways and added to numerous dishes to bring that savoury, salty, umami like flavour.  Why you can even buy Marmite crisps and cashew nuts baked with Marmite. My favourite way to eat it is to spread some nice warm toast with butter and once that melts I spread some "mite" on top – see if you can tell which is which “mite” on the toasts.

So which one do you like Ted … well I am, as the Australian advertising jingle from the 1950’s proclaimed, … “a happy little Vegemite”     

Ted and the Kings of Crispland ...

.. yes it's really true that 6.2 billion packets of crisps are consumed in the UK each year, that’s around 150 packets for each and every one of us!! Surprisingly (to me anyway) they were actually invented in America, where they are called “potato chips”. According to well-informed sources it was a chap called George Crum who created the original recipe back in 1853 in Saratoga Springs, New York. The global market for these little beauties is worth around US$ 20 billion a year (boy am I in the wrong job) and accounts for just short of 40% of the total snacks market.

They appear in almost every country in some form or other, often with their own local names and a range of distinctive and national flavours supplementing the more established and traditional selection. Flavours like guacamole, dill pickle, tomato ketchup, jerk chicken, wasabi, barbeque, paprika, chilli, scallop, teriyaki, sausage, chutney, and even marmite, the list seems almost endless. The multitude of flavourings available today were made possible courtesy of a little crisp flavouring technique patented in the 1950’s by an Irishman called yes .. Joe “Spud”  Murphy, owner of the Tayto crisp company.  Before Spud (BS) the choice of flavours was well plain and plainer with salt ...

Other “improvements” on the original have had more to do with the packaging, with the aim of trying to keep them as fresh and unbroken as possible. Today they are packed in plastic bags and filled with nitrogen just before sealing, although I fear nothing offers fool proof protection against a supermarket shelf stacker on a bad day after their football team has lost.

With this great bounty available I decided we had to have a crisp challenge and so I assembled a crack team of top tasters to put some crisps through their paces. Here they are the “Kings of Crispland” about to embark on their mission.

Twelve packets to be rated 1 (bad) to 5 (great) by look, taste and texture. A couple of packets from outside the UK, Spain and South Africa, just to keep things a bit global. I have included the handwritten results table for your ongoing analysis and enjoyment, but a couple of general comments first. We did an “averaging” of the scores to avoid punch ups, whether you did or didn’t like the flavour(s) being tasted had a significant impact on score, and we all fell for a big manly looking nicely tanned ridge cut flame grilled steak crisp half way through, and on reflection now think it is scored a point too high. 

And finally … I can't go without saying this ... anything that is made by extruding or pressing potato “dough” into a uniform size, shape and texture (like Pringles) should be run out of town for registering off the boring scale ... and that's the least of their many sins against crisps!